


The Little Voice In Your Head

by AwFuckWhatDoIPutHere



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28054764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwFuckWhatDoIPutHere/pseuds/AwFuckWhatDoIPutHere
Summary: Tommy tries to jump.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 181





	The Little Voice In Your Head

**Author's Note:**

> All characters are reflections of their personas! RP everyone!

Tommy is standing at the edge of the bridge, about a foot or two away, observing the lava far below him.

When he breathes, he can feel the heavy air from the Nether, packed with metal and dust and so many other things he could never dream of.   
Far below him, beyond the lava lake, he can see the edges of the land, with all its monsters and all its strange plants.    
The bridge, and the fortress behind him, are the only things that keep humans like him safe from the monsters. They protect, and are easily defendable, though infested with monsters. Once, Tommy and his old friends frequently wondered who’d built them.

And for just a moment, he wonders what the Nether would look like if they’d never been built.

_ Is that what hell looks like? _

A part of him wants to find out.

He takes a step towards the edge.

And feels a yank on his shirt that knocks all the air out of his lungs .

“ _No.”_   
The word doesn’t feel like an exclamation. It doesn’t even feel like a soft suggestion. Like something a parent would say before they removed their young child’s hand from the window.    
This felt like a statement.   
“ **Don’t do that**.”   
With that, Dream yanked him back onto the bridge.

Violently, he slammed his head into the dark bricks, and suddenly felt the characteristic taste of blood in his mouth.   
Dream was staring over him, silently watching as he scrambled back.

In that moment, i n the mind of a frightened child ,  Dream didn’t seem human.

His clothing was coated in soot. His mask was fine and blank, and in the reflection of the Nether’s dull, redlight, it almost looked aflame.   
There was nothing to make him _human._ Nothing that could give the child affirmation that this man in front of him was anything that he’d ever known.

Dr e am was a monster.

Dream  was cruel.

Dream wasn’t human.

As the man turned towards the portal again,  Tommy followed him with his eyes.

___

“I’m heading back.”   
The illusion was gone. The immortal ruler had gone back to the frightening man who had burned Tubbo’s house. 

Tommy was still sitting on the bridge, breathing slow and as steady as he could.   
It hadn’t been long since Wilbur and Sapnap had gone through, had it? He’d lost contact over the communicator when they’d gone through the portal, but he knew it couldn’t be long now, could it? How long could it take for a ghost to take a simple photograph?

_ Long enough,  _ he hoped.

As Dream walked through the portal, he heard a single sentence from the hooded man.

“Don’t try to do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

_Was this stupid?_   
_It might be._   
_Dream certainly seemed like it was._

 _This is too_ _drastic!_ Some part of his mind said.    
_Think of the people who’d miss you._   
**_They don’t care_** ** _._**   
_You still have something to fight for. You still_ _need_ _L’manburg_ _!_   
**_L_** ** _’manburg_** ** _doesn’t need me._**   
_You still have time to_ _start over!_   
**_All the people I’ve ever_** ** _cared about are here. My whole family is here. If they don’t love me, then who would? I destroy everything I come across._**   
_Dream’s manipulating you. He knows what to say to trigger you._   
**_But is he wrong?_**   
_It’s your last death. This would be irreversible. You can’t do it. It would be the end._ _Wilbur wouldn’t-_

“ But it wasn’t the  fucking  end for Wilbur, was it?” He snapped, leaning against the wall.

The voice in his head  _ finally _ shut up.

He pulled himself up from the ground, and took th e first step towards  the edge.

For some reason,  th at first step felt like more of an accomplishment than anything Tommy had  ever  done before.

One step. Two steps. Three steps. Each movement felt freer than the last. For every step, it felt like he was closer and closer to just floating into the air.

One, two, three, four steps.

And then he was at the edge of the  bridge, and he bricks ended, and the lava was right  _ there- _

Tommy stopped.

_Come on,_ something inside him urged.   
_It’s now or never. Do it._ ** _Do it._**   
**_Do it before he comes back._**

He takes the step.

And feels something snap tightly around his  arm.

He f alls. 

For just a second, it feels like he’s plummeting to his death. The heat f rom the molten rock beneath him is melting his skin. His hair is turning to ash. It ’s like everything in the whole wide world is folding together in a spiral of panic and pain-

And he  _ regrets. _

He  _ regrets  _ jumping. He  _ regrets  _ listening to the voices. He should’ve been better. Where was his stubbornness when he needed it? Why couldn’t he  _ just have waited _ ? Why did he always react on brash decisions? Why couldn’t he just have controlled himself?

_ Help me. _

And then he stops.

He stops , midair, and feels a painful tug on his arm.

Looking to his side , he sees it.

It’s a rope. Hanging from the bridge above him.   
It isn’t a rope that tugs at his arm. It’s a little ring of metal, snapped shut just below his bicep, clearly strong enough to hold the weight of a sixteen-year-old boy.   
But he’d fallen a long way. At least fifteen meters. No normal rope would be able to withstand that kind of pressure if there wasn’t some weird enchantment on it.

And there was. The rope had the characteristic, purplish gleam ofnetheritefiber, and Tommy knew that it wouldn’t snap.   
With shaking hands, he held onto the rope, as he was slowly lifted upwards.

_____

After what felt like an eternity, he was finally at the top of the bridge again.

With shaking hands, he grabbed for the edge. For the broken bricks that looked  like they were on the edge of collapsing . And when he felt their sharp edges dig into his fingertips , adrenaline filled his body like a running river.

With pain in his arms and tears in his eyes, he pulled himself the last meter to the top of the bridge.   
When it was finally possible, he let himself fall over on the blackstone. Chest pressed against the rough bricks, with a shaking body and tears in the corners of his eyes.

Or, at least he tried to.

Instead of falling onto the bridge, like he had hoped and prayed he’d be able to, he was hauled up by the  collar of his shirt.

_Ah._ He thought to himself.   
_There was someone at the other end of that rope. Wasn’t there?_

And indeed there was.

Because here he was. Exhausted and scared. Staring into a blank  mask , and wondering why he’d ever jumped.

_____

“What did I just tell you?”   
There was a lump in Tommy’s throat. A lump so big and constricting that he can hardly breathe.   
It formed when he’d stepped over the side of the bridge. Grown with every meter he was fired upwards. But now Dream was staring him in the face. And he was scared. And he was tired. And he just _wanted to go home_.

“ _Answer me when I ask you, Tommy.”_   
_But he couldn’t._   
_He just couldn’t._   
He just felt the tears spill over his eyes. Not a single sob went through his body. Not a single cry for help. Only tears, spilling down his face.

After a while, Dream puts him down again.   
He doesn’t let go, just puts him down. The hand moves from the collar of his shirt to the back of his neck, like a cat holding its kitten, and the metal ring isn’t removed from his arm. But he’s stumbling forward on his own two legs. And Dream is leading him back towards the portal. And everything seems better than it had been just a moment ago.

___

Dream pushes him through the portal. Pushes him like he’s afraid he’ll rebel and turn around to throw himself into the molten lava again. And when they finally get to the other side, Dream escorts him all the way to his tent, where he places him just outside again.   
And with that, he destroys the portal.

He does it  rhythmically, without a shred of emotion or interruption. Yet still manage s to destroy it faster than Tommy’s seen anyone destroy one before.

When Dream finally turns around, Tommy can see him rise and fall with the rhythm of his breath . He can see the way he tries to calm himself, but ultimately fails.

Dream turns towards the tent.   
“Portal privileges are revoked for a week,” He shouts, calmyet angry, “if I catch you in the Nether, I promise I will make your life a living hell.”

And with that, Dream disappears over the nearest hill . Going North.

Meanwhile, Tommy can’t stop thinking about the seconds he was plummeting to his death. Wonders about the little voice in his head.

_Maybe I was wrong._ He wonders.   
_Maybe there’s another way out._

**Author's Note:**

> Never thought I'd write RPF. Might create a hunchback of Notre Dame AU later idk.


End file.
